BACK!

So sorry I have abandoned you guys! I have been enjoying my time with my husband home!! It has been amazing!! I love having him home! We have done so much together and have just spent time hanging out. Life is perfect. We still have no idea about our future, whether we will stay National Guard or get to go Active Duty, but at least we will be together no matter what.

We are at this odd (but wonderful) stage in our marriage. In one sense we are newlyweds, we only had a few married months together before he left, and those months were filled with week long trainings every few weeks. So now that he is home we are actually having the chance to experience this newly married stage that wasn't really available to us before. But in another sense we have experienced so much in our marriage that I feel like we have the wisdom and experience of an older married couple. now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying we're the best or anything like that, I'm just saying that through the year long deployment we have had, it has caused us to "grow up" in our relationship faster than most need to. So, this combination of newlywed meets wisdom is kind of amazing, and totally working for us right now. We have learned how to communicate with each other best, and what works for us.

Recently we have made a very important discovery for our relationship. We have discovered that because we are a team all things need to be solved as a team. We know each other well enough that chances are if something is bothering one of us, the other can tell. Now, what we have learned is instead of internalizing our problems and coming up with solutions on our own, we need to go to the other person and discuss our solutions together. This might sound like a very obvious thing, but for us it was not. For both of us we didn't want to bother the other person if we didn't have to. we would internalize things that we conceived as "personal problems" and would come up with our own solutions. but here is the problem with that, there is no such thing as a personal problem in a marriage. My stuff effects me AND my husband, so I am not capable of solving MY problems alone, because they are not MY problems they are OURs. This realization is liberating! We have promised to seek help from each other and to share our problems. We no longer have to worry about anything alone, that is one reason we got married in the first place, so a year and half later we are finally embracing it.

I hope you guys enjoyed the peak into our lives, and I promise to be back more often!!

I'm back!!! Sorry that I have basically abandoned you guys lately, but I have been a little pre occupied with this stinky boy of mine ;) I love having him home! I love lazy days, and busy days, and any day in between. He just makes me so happy! I love doing his laundry, cooking for him, and doing his dishes. Having him home might mean more housework, but I will gladly do more house work any day if it means I get smooches!!!
here are a few highlights from the past 2 weeks

This was at the homecoming ceremony, the sign says "SCP GRIMM, always under the same stars, finally under the same roof"

We went to a cook out with a few of the other families from the unit

We went kayaking with the Davis' and the West's (it was freaking FREEZING)

Yesterday we ran the Warrior Dash in Ohio with the Kosten's!

I am basically a viking warrior princess.

This week we are going on a CRAZY camping/canoeing  trip in Minnesota at the boundary waters with some of our friends from the unit (do you see a theme? everyone we've hung out with is from the unit) so get excited  to read all about it!!!

Finally the thursday I've been waiting for!!!

JAKE IS ON AMERICAN SOIL!!!!!
he is not in my arms, but he is safely in the country!! so because I am sure in the coming weeks I will be MIA I am going to do our homecoming song this week :)
so go link up with good night moon (on her GORGEOUS new blog design) and enjoy what everyone is rocking to this week.

I chose this song because it explains exactly how our relationship is. Even after everything, he is still the one for me ;)

WELCOME HOME 1436th SOLDIERS! Can't wait to welcome you home in person!

Happy Thursday!

YAY for thursday!! I love this link up with Good Night Moon (If anything it at least keeps me blogging every Thursday, sorry I've been abandoning you guys lately) Today I am going to buckle down and clean the crap out of my house, so that its nice and perfect for when Jake comes home which is still *soon* So today I picked a great get up and start moving and dance around song :)

Does anybody else think that Blondie looks a lot like Tea Leoni?

I can't wait to see everybody's songs :) 

it's thursday again!

Well I am a whole week closer to seeing my husband :) It's just frustrating that I have no idea when I'm going to see him, but soon. So my song this week for Good Night Moon's song link up is "I can wait forever" by Simple Plan. because at this point I feel like I have been waiting FOR.EV.ER!!! (can you tell I have patience problem?) Hope you all enjoy the song this week, hopefully in the next couple weeks I can have a real homecoming song up here for you guys (is it bad that I already have that one picked out? haha)

The Un-hirable Nanny...

My husband is trying to go active duty, because he knows that being a soldier is his calling, it's what God made him to do. He would like to make his sole living by being an active duty soldier, instead of a national guard soldier, where he is only a soldier a few times a month (the saying goes 1 weekend a month 2 weeks a year, but thats not really that accurate), and has to have a civilian job to support us. This process is long and drawn out, and is the entire reason he is deployed currently. We do not know if this request will be granted, and if it is, We do know we will be moved to a base somewhere but we do not know when or where that will be. We do know that if we move it will not be until after Thanksgiving, and possibly quite longer than that. So now, as his wife, I am trying to find a job, to help keep us a float for the next three (or more) months after he comes home to no civilian job, and we are just waiting to go active. Let me tell you how frustrating this is. Nobody wants to hire a nanny that may be moving in 3 months, and I'm not willing to be dishonest about that fact, because I truly believe in full disclosure. But this totally stinks, I have already sacrificed so much for this country, I have spent the last YEAR away from my husband, we have given up so much so that my husband can defend this country, and now I have to give up on finding a job as well? That hardly seems fair... I feel like if anything, the fact that I a military spouse should work in my FAVOR in getting a nanny job, not against me. I am feeling very defeated at this point, I still have some more interviews lined up, and hopefully my dream nanny job is out there for me. But so far, I could totally see it in their faces when they interview me and they ask "How long would you plan on staying with us?" that mental delete button is pushed, and I lose any chance I had of getting the job. It just breaks my heart that I have sacrificed so much and nobody even really appreciates it, and nobody is willing to go out on a limb and hire me. I am a college educated woman with 4-6 years of extensive child care experience, it's not as if I am not qualified for a nanny position. It is very clear that this is the main reason I keep losing the positions I interview for, and it is frustrating. I will sacrifice anything for this family, and I am willing to even give up having a job so my husband can fulfill his dream of being a soldier, I am not upset about that at all, I am just a little concerned about how we are expected to make ends meet for the next 3 months if I am "un-hirable" because we MIGHT be moving.

Thursday song Link up!

It's thursday!!!! you all know what that means! Head over to good night moon and link up with your songs!




 Homecoming is getting very very close, and I can't wait to see my husband. I am going quite stir crazy here, so here is my song of the week:

The Lake

Ever since I was a teeny tiny baby, my family went on a family vacation at the beginning of August. While he was still alive, my Grandpa Egan would rent several "chalet's" on lake Michigan in Stevensville, MI for the first 2 weeks of August. My WHOLE dad's side of the family would come down and it would be a great time with all the cousins. My dad's side of the family is HUGE and they are very spread out, so without the lake, I would definitely not know my cousins (all 26 not including spouses or children).

I have so many amazing memories from the lake, including being buried in the sand, digging holes to china, and playing "the price is right" in the sand dunes. Those two weeks every summer were amazing, and even though they signified the close of the summer and the start of the school year I just couldn't wait for them to come every summer. I experienced my first "freedom" at the lake, it was a little gated community so our parents were ok with us going for walks around the grounds. My cousins (the ones closest to my age) and I would go collecting pop (and plenty of beer) cans from around the beaches, and the rest of the area so that we could "get rich." I seem to recall we actually did pretty well and made at least $10.00 each (that would be at least 300+ cans). My young summers at the lake definitely started to define me, unfortunately as we got older, my grandparents passed away, fewer and fewer cousins could come, and it dwindled down to only one week a summer, with only 2 families there the whole week. I became a camp counselor and busy in the summers and could only stop in for a few days. However, I LOVED the lake still! in my 24 years of existence I only missed one summer (I was living in PA) and I was miserable the whole time.

This summer my family has decided not to go to the lake. The Egan side had a family reunion earlier this year, so everybody already saw each other. Well that is, everybody besides me, because I was busy being the matron of honor in my bestie's wedding (which I wouldn't trade for the world but it's still sad that I missed the chance to see my family). also one of the cousin's weddings is this coming weekend so it would have infringed on the time at the lake and people are seeing each other there anyway, unfortunately I can't go to that either. So it is nobody's fault, but I will spend this summer without the normal cousin shenanigans and that makes me quite sad. The Lake truly is one of my favorite memories as a child, and Stevensville is one of my most favorite places on the whole planet (and not just because my handsome husband grew up there- Weird that my husbands from my vacation spot right?) This week I am feeling overly sentimental about the whole thing (if you can't tell from this post). I feel as though this marks the end of an era. So this week I am sure I will take at least one trip out to stevensville to spend some time with the in laws and then take a walk on THE beach and remember.

I will try and stop by my parents house this week as well, and get some old photos to post up here for you guys :)

What is soon?

*Disclaimer* I am very thankful that my husband is safe and unharmed, I am glad that he IS coming home. I am in no what demising the fact that I am thankful for this.  But this is the place that i explain my thoughts/frustrations related to this deployment, so here goes...

Everyone keeps saying that my husband's unit is coming home soon. What the stink does soon mean? Because they've been saying "SOON" since MAY... I know it's getting closer, and I have an idea of when it is, but man the closer it gets, the slower every second goes. I swear days have doubled in length, and my patience has worn completely through. I am just so ready for him to come home, I want to be in his arms, I want to smooch him, and I want to snuggle with him. I am trying so hard to keep a positive attitude, but let me tell you... it is HARD! especially since he's been coming home "soon" for the past 3 months.

I have spent the past year without my husband, I have spent the last year trying to avoid the news, and praying that he is safe. I have been solely responsible for our finances, and everything else here on the home front. I have tried to be strong and have tried really hard to be a good military wife. But I have reached my breaking point. Jake has asked me to stay positive, and I am working very hard to get excited about homecoming, but with time coming to a screeching hault it's kind of difficult. The word has been thrown around so many times, that I don't even know what it means anymore. There was a point where i thought that "soon" meant a few days.. but clearly that is not the case. and I feel as though we have all been through enough this year, that we deserve to just have our husbands home not "soon" but NOW!!!


ok my complaining is over.. I just have been having a very hard time with this now that it's getting closer and closer... (well maybe it's not really getting closer, and father time is just being a crotchety old man and messing with the time-space continuum... DARN YOU FATHER TIME) :)

POSITIVE

Today I am going to be POSITIVE!!! lately I have been super bummed about how long this last part of the deployment is going. Jake's work has slowed down and it's frustrating to have him there not doing anything, when all I want is for him to be here. When he's working, and going on missions and such I understand why he is there, it still sucks, but he has purpose. When he's just there not doing army things, it's hard to see a point in us being separated. But Jake asked me to switch my attitude around last night, so that is what I am doing.
Today I am happy about the fact that this deployment is almost over.
Today I am happy to hear from my husband as often as i do.
Today I am SO THANKFUL that my husband has made it this far through the deployment safely
Today I am in absolute love with the man i married.
Today I am happy that my dinning room table is cleaned off.
Today I am really happy it's Cherry season (I may or may not have eaten half a bag just now)
Today I am just really glad that soon I will be in my husband arms, and *Smooch Fest 2011* can commence ;)

Road Trip 2011

So, before I can tell you the story of my past week I need to fill you in on the situation. I hinted at this situation, but never explained it because not everyone knew about it yet, and I didn't feel that it was my place to share. But, about 3 weeks ago now my husbands best friend was injured in Iraq. His truck hit an IED (roadside bomb) and he took shrapnel to his head and face. Thanks to a fabulous medic (my Jake) and some really great hospital staff in Iraq and Germany, Josh is going to recover fully. He does have a long road ahead of him but he has his beautiful, loving wife by his side. Josh's wife, Abby is one of my closest friends from this whole deployment, and with Jake becoming so close to Josh we have bonded as couples even though we were separated from each other. SO now that you understand the situation, here is what I have been up to this week:

  Last Friday a bunch the wives/significant others from Jake's unit got together and went on a dinner cruise on Lake Michigan. We had been planning this event for at least a month, and Abby was so bummed that she couldn't go because she was in Germany at the hospital with Josh (she was very glad to be by his side for his surgeries and everything, but it was hard being there alone, knowing all her friends were out getting dressed up and going out) So, another amazing Army Wife, Carlie and I put our heads together, and made it so Abby could come with us.

Carlie and I just hanging out with Abby :)

Abby whispering sweet nothings into Carlie's ear

Of course the captain had to take the prettiest girl on the boat out for a spin around the dance floor!

Abby, you be JFK and I'll be Marilyn Monroe

The next day after the cruise (I spent the night at Carlie's) Carlie and I were laying in bed discussing the fact that we had just found out that Abby and Josh had arrived safely to Walter Reed, but that they were having an awful time with the staff there. I semi-jokingly said "I wish we could just go visit her" then we both just looked at each other with that "i'm serious if you're serious" look, and that is how Road Trip 2011 came about. After getting the support of our husbands, we drove all night (so that Carlie's 21 month old daughter could sleep the whole way) and got to Washington DC at around 6:00 am Sunday morning, we checked into the hotel, showered and then called Abby and said "how would you like to have breakfast with your 2 favorite army wives" she was confused as to where we were at first, then so surprised that we drove all the way out there to see her! I'm so glad that we were able to make the trip, and be there with Abby during some of Josh's procedures, and just help keep her spirits up. We are pretty sure that staff there thinks that we are sister wives, and that Josh is married to all three of us. I suppose it would be confusing, but it was really funny that the doctors never quite understood which "wife" to talk to. 

Our fortune cookie on the way out of town, it knew!!!

Don't worry, Gracie drove through the night and got us there safely!

Gracie was exhausted after teaching Josh how to take care of her baby doll

We're so pretty :)

Happy to be together 

This time I'm JFK and Abby's Marilyn Monroe

We love each other

Carlie and Abby, aren't they pretty?

I'm so glad we were able to be with Abby for a little while, I wish I could stay there with her. It is so unfortunate that they are getting such poor care at Walter Reed, and all I can hope is that if it truly does close in 30 days like they say it is going to, they get moved to a much better facility with doctors and nurses that care much more about their patients than at walter reed. Josh is an american hero, wounded for this nation, and he is being treated like crap where he is. That just infuriates me! Please pray for the continued recovery of Josh Davis, as well as better care for him and his family, and for the safe return of our remaining soldiers overseas!

What's your song? link up

HAPPY THURSDAY!!! I have a feeling it's going to be a great day! After the fiasco that was yesterday, it better be a good day :) You know what thursday means.. SONG LINK UP!!! (my total favorite!)
So head on over to Good Night Moon and check out the different songs!




This week I am going to share with you "our songs" but before I do I should remind you all that we aren't the standard couple. We are goofy, and not very traditional when it comes to the romantic stuff. We find our songs in the most random ways, and why they become our songs beats me. haha

Our first song isn't originally from Loony Tunes, but that is where we first heard it and fell in love. I often write "send me a kiss by wire, baby my hearts on fire" on the envelope when I send him letters.

Our next song is also from Looney Tunes. It's such a catchy tune, and we sing it to each other all the time, but instead of saying "I love to singa" Jake says "I love Da Baby" (that's what he calls me) I say "I love Da Boy" (what I call him) .

Our last song is mildly more traditional, still not a slow dance song, but it works with our personalities. We love Dave Matthew's Band and this song is just so fun!

I love that we aren't the typical couple, it suits us well. However, it was a little weird picking our first dance song at our wedding, we considered busting out one of the Looney Tunes songs, but we figured it would be awkward to dance to, and people might just be confused. So instead we danced to "Can You Feel The Love Tonight" by Elton John. It was appropriate for a wedding, but was from the Lion King so it still had our little kid aspect. I hope you enjoyed our songs! remember to go check out the link up and see what everybody else is listening to this week!

I pray for you

Sometimes, when all else fails, all you can do is rely on the Lord, and know that He will not let you down. in times of fear and heartache, He will be there to help you, He will be there to ease your pain. Sometimes that's all you can believe in. As the situation heats up in Iraq, all I can do is pray. Sometimes it is enough to make my heart feel better, and sometimes my imagination goes too crazy. But when I'm stressed or scared the way I deal with it is by doing SOMETHING to help. The worst is when I feel useless, so because I cannot personally go over there and keep our soldiers safe, the next best thing is to ask someone who can. I ask that my followers join me in prayer in getting these guys back safely! Please pray for these soldiers from now until they are back in our arms!

Lord, please protect the men and women in Jake's unit, and around the world serving this great country. Please watch over them and bring each one home safely to their loved ones. Please keep their morale high throughout the rest of this deployment, help them to see that they are doing good (things) and help them to stay focused on the task at hand. Help us spouses to be the strength that our soldiers need us to be while they deal with the hard things around them. And help us not to go crazy with worry during these uncertain times. Please change the hearts of those that wish to do our soldiers harm, and bring them to follow You. Help them to see the pain and heartache they are causing and bring them into Your Way of forgiveness and love. Also Lord, please let my husband feel my love for him, as I cannot hug him, or physically comfort him in any way right now. Please let him feel my hug and my smooch, from this far away. All things are possible through Your Son!
In Jesus' name, Amen




I know that I already posted this song a few weeks back, but really it's exactly how I feel right now, so here you go! (again)

Dear Banes and Noble,

As a military wife, I try to only use military friendly businesses. It's just not smart to use any other kind, because if someone is not willing to work with me even though things might be difficult because my husband is deployed that's fine, because there is a different business out there that will be more than helpful and understanding of my situation. All military spouses know the murphy's law of deployment: anything bad that can happen, WILL happen while your spouse isn't here to help with it. So, it shouldn't come as a shock to anyone that I have spent my share of HOURS on the phone with different customer service representatives throughout these past 10 or so months of deployment. I have discovered that Apple will bend over backwards to help you troubleshoot a device that you don't have in your hands or even have a serial number for because it's in Iraq/Kuwait with your husband. The Apple people were so incredibly helpful and understanding of my situation, even though they weren't able to actually fix the problem, they did everything they could, and they did so respectfully. On the other hand I have learned that Barnes and Noble is NOT military friendly. Before you go thinking that I'm just slandering a business here, let me explain the entire situation, and then you can logically see how I came to this conclusion.
     Jake and I both have nooks, we LOVE (well loved) them! We are actually personally responsible for at least 5 or 6 other people purchasing nooks over kindles. When we first got them we talked them up, and showed them off, and were just so in love them that we tried to convince EVERYONE we knew that they needed one as well. Jake was so glad to have the nook to bring with him on this deployment, he loves to read, and planned on bringing his nook with him everywhere he went to take up his downtime. This was a huge morale booster for him, this is one of the comforts of home that he was able to have with him, and I was so thankful for that. However, Jake got into theater to discover that Barnes and Noble does not support internet from outside of the United States. So even though he is able to get on their website, and look at all the books he could get, he is not able to purchase a single ebook off of their website, for the simple fact that he is not using US internet. Though this was extremely annoying, we set up a system so that I would purchase it for him and then it would get sent to his email and he would download it (but remember, Barnes and Noble doesn't support outside internet so he couldn't just go to the internet cafe hop on the wifi on his nook and download it, he had to use the cord to download it from the computer and then it was in PDF format and not ebook format, and the page numbers were all messed up, it was formatted all wrong, and wasn't a simple or enjoyable reading experience). We have thousands of servicemen and women overseas right now, Barnes and Noble. Don't you think that they would be a really good source of income for you? While over there, my husband goes through books 2 or 3 times as fast as he does while he's home. So why are you making it so that he has to jump through hoops just to GIVE YOU MONEY for a book. Doesn't seem like a smart business choice to me, also doesn't seem like a wise PR choice either, because you are making it abundantly clear that our servicemen and women, the ones risking their lives for you, are not a priority, or even a thought to your company.
     On top of the fact that their set up is not military friendly, their customer service is also not understanding of military situations. This winter my husband's nook broke, there were lines and weird boxes all over the screen, so I called Barnes and Noble to ask if there is anything I could tell him to do to troubleshoot before attempting to exchange it, because honestly, I just wanted him to have a working nook in the fastest way possible. They flat out said there was nothing that could help with this particular problem, and that it needed to be replaced. So Jake mailed the nook home, to me, which took about a week. I then called to get the return process started and they refused to help me because I am not Jake, I was one underscore off on his old email address, and did not have his credit card number (it was his wallet in Iraq). I understand that these are security measures, however I had the password, the serial number, and was holding the nook, which I have since found out has the email address in it, so they could have directed me to find it instead of refusing to help me at all (the man i spoke to was rude and not at all understanding of the fact that this was a unique situation). So we had to wait until I was able to talk to my husband again and get the correct info, I called back and they were still sketchy about letting me do it, but they did let me in at that point. They then refused to just replace it, and made me go through all these troubleshooting steps (you know the ones I specifically called and asked for and they said wouldn't help at all) like taking out the battery and charging it over night. So there is another day wasted. I then finally call back and after much persuasion convinced them to just replace it. I chose not to do the rapid replacement (they send you a new one but if they don't get the old one back in 14 days they charge you close to $200 for it) because I did not trust them one bit at this point and did not want them to charge me for something I should have gotten for free. So I sent them the nook. 10 days later I had heard nothing so I called and they said it could take up to 14 days so be patient. I called back on the 15th day, this time really frustrated and they claim that they have never received it, however the UPS tracking number claims that it was delivered over a week ago. After finally snapping and making it perfectly clear that they weren't getting off the phone with me till there was a new nook on the way to me they "discovered" the nook I had sent them, and it had just been placed in the wrong pile or something. who knows how long it sat there, or what really happened. I finally was shipped a new nook and was able to send it to Jake, so a good MONTH after it broke he got a new one. I have heard that soldiers, specifically in jake's unit, that have had problems with their kindle have been able to contact Amazon themselves and get replacements in less than a week. To be fair I ended up having the exact same problem with my nook a few weeks ago, and had no problems replacing it, I went into the Portage, MI store and had Josh (the nicest Barnes and Noble person I have ever met) call customer service for me, because I just simply had had enough with it. But, because my replacement wasn't difficult or unique in any way there were no problems. What kind of message does that send to our troops Barnes and Noble? You are more than willing to help other people but because it might be a little more complicated or requires you to be a tiny bit flexible you aren't going to go out of your way to help the men and women that fight for your freedoms? Well that says quite a bit about your business, and makes it extremely clear to me that you are not a military friendly company.

Thursday song Link up!

It's Thursday again! that's amazing! I'm hoping I can get through the last little bit of this deployment with at least a little bit of sanity left! Head over to Good Night Moon and link up with your song (have I mentioned this is my favorite ever?) 

 I've got 2 songs today. The first one is Selena Gomez's "A Year without rain" She is pretty fabulous, I love her, and this song says it all (even though It's obviously been longer than a day.. but you get the idea) also that dress is GORGEOUS! I could do without the random arm thing, but the dress is very pretty!

My second song is called "dinosaur" by Kisschasey this song defines Jake and I, it's serious in that it's about missing each other, but the video gives it a good hint of silliness which is what we are all about! I hope you all enjoy my songs this week!

 

Congratulations Mr. and Mrs. Williams!!

My bestie, Allie got married on Saturday, and I was Matron Of Honor. She was a beautiful bride, and I am so glad that she has found her prince charming! The wedding was gorgeous, and the reception a ton of fun!  I was a little sad because it was kind of awkward to not have Jake there, and have no one to dance with, but I still had a lot of fun. I didn't get any pictures because I was too focused on MOH duties (my one track mind) but here are some pictures that some friends took!

Allie and her dad, Larry, walking down the isle

Allie and her HUSBAND, Matt!

Wow somebody did a great job tying that dress up right? ;)

Allie and I with a friend of ours from High school, Caitlyn (these are her pictures)

Allie and I :)

Congrats Allie and Matt!! I hope you have a lifetime of happiness together!

HAPPY FATHER's DAY!

I was blessed with an amazing daddy! He has stood by my mother's side even through all the difficulties of her disease. He is a strong, and gentle man. I love him so much. I have always been a daddy's girl, and I couldn't have gotten a better daddy for me had I picked him out myself. Thank you so much for all that you do, I love being your "brown eyed girl."

I now have another father to thank as well, my Father-in-law Jim. He has been so helpful and supportive of Jake and I. He raised Jake and his brother alone from ages 6 and 3. Thank you Dad Grimm for all that you did to mold your son into the amazing man he is today. The respect and love that you taught him is so evident in the way he treats me now. Thank you so much for being a great father-in law, I don't know what I would do if I had awful in-laws like some people... Man am I blessed!

it's thursday again!

I really love this link up! I feel like thursday snuck up on me this week, and that's AWESOME! that's one more week closer to the hubs coming home! YAY! So, Head on over to Good Night Moon and share your song for this week!

(she has a beautiful button, but I can't seem to get it to work.. maybe next week)

Mine is an oldie, but I love it. and it defines how much I am in Love with Jake. This week he has worked so hard at supporting me, and making sure I know just how loved and respected I am. he honors me, and speaks to me with respect, kindness, and love. He knows whats best for me, and helps me discover those things on my own. He truly is an amazing husband, and even though he is far away, he is here for me 100% I love him so much!

I totally wrote this and posted it, then got distracted and never linked up or anything... but here is my song :)

headaches, pjs and iphones

So I have been waking up with killer headaches lately, for no reason. I used to get headaches so bad that I couldn't function. I would even get severe migraines on a regular basis. Thankfully these have not escalated to migraines yet, but they are still awful. That would be why I haven't made many posts lately, and those I have made are short sweet and to the point. Today was another headache day, but I went a got a new phone anyways, because I had been waiting till pay day to get my iphone. I am so excited about it! I have been downloading apps all day. if you have any suggestions on apps that i just have to have, please tell me! anyways, after I got home from verizon it was straight into my jammies, and I have had a jammie party for the rest of the day.. with a  few baths thrown in for good measure (with bath tea to try and help the headache). Professor finnigan (my teddy) and I have been watching the show Jeremiah and snuggling on the couch all day. It's days like today that I wish Jake was here to snuggle with me. Oh well, soon enough. I think I will forgo the healthy cooking tonight, and eat Velveta Rotini with broccoli and cheese... comfort food for the head.. I hope you guys all have a good snuggley evening even though it's so crummy outside

Steam packets

So I have been trying very hard to lose weight, but so far it is not working. I would very much like to get back to the weight I was at our wedding. Clearly the deployment has been rough on my body, but I am trying to change that. I have been working out in the gym everyday and been trying to eat healthy. I have just started making foil packets to steam on the grill, hopefully these will be a healthier choice than what i have been eating, and will help me start losing the weight. They are very delicious, and I thought that I should share with you guys how to make them! You just pick a meat (lean because the fat will drip off and stay in the packet and the rest of your food will cook in it, so stay away from anything fatty) a veggie and a starch. My favorite so far has been chicken, asparagus and potatoes. Then, you season your food however you want it, but remember that the flavors will mingle so pick a seasoning that would be okay on all the things in the packet. Then you place them all together in a long piece of foil folded them in half and pinch the sides together, if you have rice or are worried about there being enough moisture to steam it, add a 1/4 cup of water or broth into the packet then seal it up. Throw it on the grill on high for 10-20 mins until the packet is fully puffed up, then cut it open and enjoy! (steam will come out when you cut it, so be careful!)

Thursday song Link up!

This time I will get my song in early enough to link up :) so head over to Goodnight Moon and link up the song that defines your mood this week. For me, this week, with all the soldier's deaths in Baghdad this is my song. Big and Rich "I pray for you." Sometimes the only thing that gets me through those hard nights where you hear of something scary on the news and haven't heard from him yet is praying.

I also added a "deployment playlist" page this week, and will continue to add songs that help me through this, or explain how I feel when I remember them, or com across them.

The next person that says "well at least he's not in Afghanistan" might get punched in the face. My husband is in a war zone. He is not at a pizza party, he is at war. Yes, it is a different war than that in Afghanistan, but IT IS STILL A WAR! No, I will not live a life of fear, but I will tell you, that I know what it's like to lie awake at night, worried that those deaths you heard about on the news just might be your worst fear coming to reality. I know what it's like, I am a wife of deployed soldier. It doesn't matter where he is, I will worry about him until he come home to me. You jerks that try to tell me I should be thankful he isn't in Afghanistan should be thankful I haven't broken your nose yet.

Countdown blues

I think I have figured out what is making this part of the deployment so much harder than the first part was.  For the first part of the deployment I had a really hard time until I got pretty solid R&R dates, then I had a fabulous count down. I had something to look forward to, I had pretty accurate numbers, I had a reason to keep my calendar up to date, I had a vacation to plan. I had a driving force getting me through to the next time I was to see my husband. But this time, I have tried really hard to keep the one year mark as my count down (I strongly believe the army won't pay the extra cash to keep them there for over a year) even though I've heard several rumors suggesting that they will be home early. I just cannot believe these very desirable dates, the Army is notorious for giving you dates that are weeks, or months off. Nothing is set in stone with the Army, I won't believe they are coming home early until he is in my arms. but, because of this, I have this struggle to keep myself from getting my hopes up, but to keep a positive attitude also. I feel like I keep seeing other people from the unit's "countdowns" and they are basically confusing me. I don't want my hopes up, but my number next to their numbers is just incredibly depressing. So I have the countdown on my phone, but I haven't really gotten into it, haven't put in on my calendar, haven't started doing anything special for any milestones (for R&R a bought a special treat for Mexico every 10 days I made it through) because I feel stupid and incredibly depressed that I haven't hit double digits yet and everyone else did weeks ago... I know that the reason I am doing this is because I am trying to protect myself from getting hurt, but am I hurting myself more by not letting myself get excited about when they are coming home? I need to figure out a way to get excited and keep the year mark as my dates, I just need to ignore when other people's count downs sound way more exciting... but that is easier said than done

One year ago today

One year ago today Jake and I stood in front of God and all of our family and friends and vowed to love cherish and honor each other for the rest of our lives. Today is our one year anniversary. We have been married for a whole year. Marriage has been a wonderful, and crazy ride. I love being a wife, I love being Jake's wife. I could not have asked for a better husband, this past year has been amazing. It has been really hard but it has also been amazing. Jake has shown me so much more respect, love, and honor than I ever thought that I would have, or deserve. I have never been happier with my life, I couldn't imagine what my life would be like without him.
June 5th, 2010 was the happiest day of my life. The weather was crappy but thanks to some fervant prayers the rain cleared up and it was perfectly beautiful for the outdoor ceromny. I have never felt more beautiful in my life, and I have never felt more cared for. People made sure my day was relaxing and amaing. My only problem with the day was that I had too much waiting time on my hands haha I am not a very patient woman (as I'm sure you have learned with my past posts). I loved everything about our wedding, and everything about that day... Even though I won't be able to celebrate with my husband I know how much he appreciates me, and how happy he is to be my husband. As an early anniversary gift, he sent me my favorite cheesecake from The Cheesecake Factory (raspberry lemon cream) man is it yummy! he knows that cheesecake is better than flowers! I do hope we will get to talk today, but we will see what the army's plans are for that. I miss him a lot today, because I am reminded of how amazing our love, and relationship is, but I am going to try and stay positive.

now for some wedding pictures!!!
All taken by Jenna Rose Photography!!!! (best photographer ever!)