Sunday, November 27, 2011


So sorry I have abandoned you guys! I have been enjoying my time with my husband home!! It has been amazing!! I love having him home! We have done so much together and have just spent time hanging out. Life is perfect. We still have no idea about our future, whether we will stay National Guard or get to go Active Duty, but at least we will be together no matter what.

We are at this odd (but wonderful) stage in our marriage. In one sense we are newlyweds, we only had a few married months together before he left, and those months were filled with week long trainings every few weeks. So now that he is home we are actually having the chance to experience this newly married stage that wasn't really available to us before. But in another sense we have experienced so much in our marriage that I feel like we have the wisdom and experience of an older married couple. now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying we're the best or anything like that, I'm just saying that through the year long deployment we have had, it has caused us to "grow up" in our relationship faster than most need to. So, this combination of newlywed meets wisdom is kind of amazing, and totally working for us right now. We have learned how to communicate with each other best, and what works for us.

Recently we have made a very important discovery for our relationship. We have discovered that because we are a team all things need to be solved as a team. We know each other well enough that chances are if something is bothering one of us, the other can tell. Now, what we have learned is instead of internalizing our problems and coming up with solutions on our own, we need to go to the other person and discuss our solutions together. This might sound like a very obvious thing, but for us it was not. For both of us we didn't want to bother the other person if we didn't have to. we would internalize things that we conceived as "personal problems" and would come up with our own solutions. but here is the problem with that, there is no such thing as a personal problem in a marriage. My stuff effects me AND my husband, so I am not capable of solving MY problems alone, because they are not MY problems they are OURs. This realization is liberating! We have promised to seek help from each other and to share our problems. We no longer have to worry about anything alone, that is one reason we got married in the first place, so a year and half later we are finally embracing it.

I hope you guys enjoyed the peak into our lives, and I promise to be back more often!!

No comments:

Post a Comment