Thursday, May 19, 2011

a day later it still hurts...

Today I am still heart broken. Today i am still missing him. Today I have the beginnings of a migraine because of how much i cried yesterday. Today I want him to come home. But I know he is doing his job. I know that our country needs him. I know that he loves what he does. I know that he loves me more. I know that he misses me. I know that he is a hero, and that he is MY hero. I love him with all my heart. Saying goodbye was terrible, still is terrible, but I can't let it take me over, I can't turn into that empty shell of loneliness that my body is trying to. I need to fight the fact that all I want to do is cry. I need to remember that his leaving and going back was necessary in order to get to the real end of this deployment. I am so glad that we are 3/4 of the way done, and so proud of all the soldiers and their spouses for getting this far. we can do it, even if it feels like it might kill us, it won't, we will have them back by the end of this. And for that day I cannot wait! I hope to post Mexico pictures, and the rest of the  pictures from leave up later this week, it's still a little too fresh right now to talk about it all because it makes me miss him so much, but as soon as I'm ready I will.
Being with him for those 2 weeks made me so happy. I got to remember all the reasons I married him, I got to actually do wifely things, I got SMOOCHES!!!! I got to give back rubs! I got to be the wife that I've always tried to be, but it's hard so far away. I got to see our marriage in action. I got to see us in blissful love, and work through some hard stuff too. I got proof that we are different, that we are not doomed to fail, but destined for forever.

Thank you Lord for my amazing husband, he truly is a wonderful man. Thank You for his heart, and everything that he does to better the world, and to better our relationship. Thank You for this amazing time with him, he makes me so happy that I can't even explain it. Thank You for all the friends that have stepped up to give their support to me during this rough time. Thank You for my life, I never imagined that I would ever be this happy. Thank you for keeping him safe, and please never stop. Thank You for helping us keep our marriage strong despite the struggles. Thank You. 

Here's another video that defines how I feel, I know it's not fair to say that I need him more, and I am trying to not be selfish, but I promised to be honest on here, and this is how I truly feel...

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