Friday, March 25, 2011

Waiting 101

So I have never been a patient person, I have always struggled with having to wait for things. A few years back I recognized this problem, and I prayed and asked God for patience. HA be careful what you wish for, because God's response was to give me a soldier to marry. :) In this life, there are times when there is nothing but waiting. Waiting for a phone call, waiting for a skype date, waiting for the internet to work, waiting for the letter you wrote to get there, waiting for the package he sent to come home, waiting to make a decision on important things so that you can talk to him about it first, waiting till you see his face again, waiting to be held in his arms, waiting to be smooched. The list goes on and on, and these are just everyday things this does not include the waiting that happens when you have reason to believe (whether rational or not) that something may have happened... that waiting is a million times worse.

The question is, what do you do to become more patient? how do you deal with all the waiting? To be honest, I don't really have an answer, but i can tell you that if you don't find some trick, you will go crazy. My tricks only last a few months at most, but they have helped. I count down by 10 days at a time, it's more than a week, but still a really manageable amount of days. at the end of each 10 days I reward myself for making it 10 days closer to his arms. Thats a really practical trick, but the most important thing doesn't really have a trick, you have to figure out how to do it for yourself. That is that you need to be in the right mind set, you NEED to be positive, because if you're not, the pain, loneliness, and emptiness will swallow you whole. I have gone back and forth on this one during this deployment, I have had my dark dark days, and I have had days where I truly am at peace with him being gone. I have finally learned how to fight the emptiness and have come out stronger because of it, but I am still working on the waiting, it sometimes feels endless, but the truth is, I know it is worth it. My husband is doing something that he loves to do, something that is honorable, and amazing, so if that means i need to learn a little patience, so be it. The day he comes back to me will be worth the months of waiting. that first smooch will be the most amazing thing in the world, that smooch is what gets me out of bed in the morning, and what makes all of this 100% worth it.

No comments:

Post a Comment