Sandstorm

Last week Jake was in the middle of a Sandstorm the stretched over 150 miles (so I've been told) between Iraq and Kuwait. Here are some pictures Jake took of it rolling in, I am so thankful that they weren't driving when this happened! I have added a video that I found through Facebook of it, (I'm not sure who took it) at the end, but there is A LOT of swearing in it, and I couldn't figure out how to disable the sound before posting it in here. so if you are around kids, or don't like swearing, mute your computers before watching it. Sorry, it's hard to censor soldiers at war 

Getting closer!

Once he was completely inside the cloud he said it became dark as night.

Waiting 101

So I have never been a patient person, I have always struggled with having to wait for things. A few years back I recognized this problem, and I prayed and asked God for patience. HA be careful what you wish for, because God's response was to give me a soldier to marry. :) In this life, there are times when there is nothing but waiting. Waiting for a phone call, waiting for a skype date, waiting for the internet to work, waiting for the letter you wrote to get there, waiting for the package he sent to come home, waiting to make a decision on important things so that you can talk to him about it first, waiting till you see his face again, waiting to be held in his arms, waiting to be smooched. The list goes on and on, and these are just everyday things this does not include the waiting that happens when you have reason to believe (whether rational or not) that something may have happened... that waiting is a million times worse.

The question is, what do you do to become more patient? how do you deal with all the waiting? To be honest, I don't really have an answer, but i can tell you that if you don't find some trick, you will go crazy. My tricks only last a few months at most, but they have helped. I count down by 10 days at a time, it's more than a week, but still a really manageable amount of days. at the end of each 10 days I reward myself for making it 10 days closer to his arms. Thats a really practical trick, but the most important thing doesn't really have a trick, you have to figure out how to do it for yourself. That is that you need to be in the right mind set, you NEED to be positive, because if you're not, the pain, loneliness, and emptiness will swallow you whole. I have gone back and forth on this one during this deployment, I have had my dark dark days, and I have had days where I truly am at peace with him being gone. I have finally learned how to fight the emptiness and have come out stronger because of it, but I am still working on the waiting, it sometimes feels endless, but the truth is, I know it is worth it. My husband is doing something that he loves to do, something that is honorable, and amazing, so if that means i need to learn a little patience, so be it. The day he comes back to me will be worth the months of waiting. that first smooch will be the most amazing thing in the world, that smooch is what gets me out of bed in the morning, and what makes all of this 100% worth it.

Kicking this deployment's BOOTY

It's amazing what a little sun, working out, and time with friends can do. I am officially looking on the brightside. I am in complete love with my life. I honestly have the best husband in the world, he is so supportive and amazing! I love him <3 he has my back in everything and I love that! The sun really does change my mood, knowing that sun dresses, skirts, flip flops, and beach time are right around the corner brings such a smile to my face. I know that it is still pretty chilly (and it's raining today) but I have seen the sun!! and it is an amazing thing! It's crazy how the threat of spring has brought my mood back, but it has in a big way. I also think that working out and not eating out as much has helped for sure! The more I go to zumba and pilates the happier I am! The better I feel about everything! I am so happy I have finally figured out how to get through this deployment.... it only took me 6 months of being miserable haha.

Having said that, it could be that we are over the hump, and over halfway done with deployment now! It just feels less unending, and it feels like a manageable amount of time! YAY! I feel like we are kicking this deployment booty in a big way! I am so glad that I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel! We've got this ladies! keep trucking girls!

Honest

Just when I'm unsure if I can take anymore, Jake sends me words of encouragement and love. I have never been treated with such respect and honor in my life. he speaks to me like a loving husband. No one has ever trusted, respected, and honored me in this way. Even when I'm having a hard time, he is here for me, he makes me feel so special and loved. I could not have asked for a better husband, and I could not be happier with the man I have. I can only pray that he can feel all of the respect, and love from me the way i feel it from him. He truly makes me so happy even from 6800 miles
I know I talk about how lonely I am, and that's not meant to be me being negative, but just me being honest. I am not going to pretend like I'm all sunshine and rainbows, when in actuality I am having a hard time. Because unless you live this life, you can't understand it, and my point in writing on here is to give you a small sliver of understanding of what I am going through. This does not mean that I don't cherish everything I have, and this doesn't mean that I only think about the bad things in my life (the army is actually a pretty good thing in my life at times). If you do not approve of what I am saying or how I am saying it, then by all means, please quit reading my blog/facebook/twitter. I promise to be honest about my feelings in all of my blog posts, I hope that my readers can understand my desire to be real and that they appreciate it, if not, I don't mind if I am writing for myself.

Show me your... RINGS!!! :)

So, Mrs. Yellow Ribbon is doing a "show me your..." link up and I thought it might be fun to participate, and this week's theme is RINGS!!! Well, I absolutely adore my ring and couldn't resist the chance to show everybody.

This picture was taken by Jenna Rose Photography At my wedding, of Jake and my rings :)

Did you look at rings together?

Yes we did, he took me to look at rings, and asked me to pick out 3 rings that I liked, then he would surprise me with one of them, but then I found this ring and I told him that it wasn't possible for me to find 2 more rings that I would want... haha I'm such a brat

Do you like your ring? Did you from the beginning?...and be honest!

Yes I did!!! It is the prettiest ring in ALL the land! I couldn't be happier with the ring that he used to show me how much he loves me.

How often do you wear your rings?

I never ever take them off unless they are getting cleaned

Do you clean your rings?

Every time I go into the mall I clean them :) it makes them so sparkly and pretty! I just love when they sparkle (maybe a little too much)

What went through your mind the very first time you saw your ring?

"Wow! This is it!" I saw it and I knew it was made just for me :)

BEST. PRESENT. EVER.

I just got one of the greatest gifts I could have ever gotten. Jake went to the USO on his base and recorded himself reading Charlie and the Chocolate Factory  on DVD and sent the DVD's and the book to me. when we first started dating he would read Captain Blue Bear to me every night before I went to sleep and it was the greatest thing ever! (I've always loved being read to at bedtime, my daddy did up to high school- and even a little in HS) but life got busy, and we started going to bed at different times and such so it doesn't happen anymore. but this gift makes it so it can! I love the voices jake makes when he reads, and his faces when he thinks something is funny or stupid or silly. These Dvd's represent hours of work he put into reading this book (7 mini discs) at a time when he's had the busiest mission schedules. I truly have the most thoughtful amazing husband in the world. This truly is the most treasured gift I've ever received! Thank you so much honey!

Jake's army photos

When Jake first left, we bought him a virtually indestructible camera so that it wouldn't get ruined in the deployment. But I hadn't gotten any pictures from him until yesterday, so I thought that I would share of few of the ones I got from him with you. (they were taken for me so there are a mess of pictures of the handsome boy, try not to drool over his hotness, he's taken)

Hackie Sack

Look at that boy!

His no-nonsense war-fighter face

I love that smile :) he has such a positive attitude

This picture makes me laugh, everytime :)

SO HANDSOME!

A girl with Narcolepsy, NOT a narcoleptic

So I am officially growing up. You can tell this by looking at my walk with narcolepsy. I was diagnosed when I was 20. It was a really hard diagnosis for a college student. I would pull all nighters, either at parties or studying, then sleep a few hours at a random time, and expect to keep going. every day was a different schedule and I didn't keep regular hours at all. I refused to change my life at all, and started taking all sorts of meds to help regulate my wakefulness and my sleep. I was having sleep attacks all the time, and even cataplexy pretty often. It was a really bad time in my life, and Narcolepsy ruled my life. I was a narcoleptic.

However, after living through that awful time, I have since learned how to not be a narcoleptic, but instead a girl that happens to have narcolepsy- narcolepsy does not define me. I have rearranged my life around a schedule that I stick to as best I can. I have even gotten to the point that I no longer need medication to keep myself awake, or to fall asleep at night. I still have some days where I am very tired, and I have to be careful with driving, but that's a reality of my life now. at least I have been able to admit it to myself, and accept it, so that I can move on. In the past I would have never missed out on doing something because I was too tired to drive, and that could have gotten me into a lot of trouble. I am so thankful that I have finally learned how to deal with this, and not effect my life too much with it. (affect? The one grammar rule I don't get no matter how many times I read it)

I went to my Dr. yesterday and he was floored on how well I'm doing now, and shocked that I didn't need any medication. He was telling me how proud he was of me for growing up and accepting this as part of my life now, and you know what? I'm proud of myself too. :)